I realize that change is an ongoing process it occurs not just at a young developing age but also at a more mature stage in one's life. Change in general can include the basic journeys in ones life of love, children, memories, place and events. Some changes that happen aren't as mundane and expected as some may think, for example my time with cancer as a youth and the hysterectomy. The pure effect of change is that it may occur at any time, anywhere. It is always in process. Changing self becomes a part of an individual's improvement process, where they may transform for personal need, opportunities, values and other reasons. Change reveals to anyone a broad range of limits and yet possibilities able. Knowing this entire why do I then go back to what is familiar over and over again as if revisited I will experience something new when what I desire is an evolution. It is difficult to answer that question. I say for our very survival it is important to reflect and revisit what once worked looking and analyzing what works and what is old and crusty or in the way. But what was once old and crusty can bring newness to our lives when we revisit.
It is difficult to change when one is constantly referring to old patterns of thinking, even if the thinking is progressive and holistic in nature. Looking through a particular lens will shape the thought process and the patterns identified, leaving little room for new possibilities. Take the camera obscura for example, looking through the lens of one of those for the first time opened up a whole world no one ever thought was possible. It seemed magic! This English veiled chamber allowed the projection and documentation of people and things never ever recorded with such accuracy. The image would appear and artists could draw and even though, at first, the image was upside down, this invention helped artists paint and changed the whole way artists looked at their subject. It changed the subject object relationship. It remove the viewer from an the active roll of using their own eyes, but at the same time it freed up much of their resources so they could interpret their subject in a whole new light. The principle can be demonstrated with a box with a hole in one side Light from a scene passes through the hole and strikes a surface where it is reproduced, in color, and upside-down. The image's perspective is accurate. The image can be projected onto paper, which when traced can produce a highly accurate representation. Finally, later 18th century the use of mirrors made it possible a right-side-up image. The camera obscura was the springboard for photography. The camera kept on evolving and with it came more complexity. As a youth, I used to have cameras. I had to know about apertures, and F-stops because though the image was better recorded and represented then say, the camera obscura we had to participate in taking the picture because the camera “Lied” and could not think and adjust to the different conditions. Now we have cameras that focus and all you do is click. The memory card can hold thousands of pictures. One can down load them and share them through phones and computers that go to a satellite and family members can see these images in seconds. I really like that, my, we have really evolved and come a long way. Right?
I thought so until I came across a roll of film the other day. Wow, I hadn’t seen a roll of film in such a long time. I decided I wanted to take photos again. I always had my Minolta when I was growing up and my friends often joked about my camera and me. I found a camera on Ebay, it came with 8 lenses, a stand, filters, and everything! I got the camera and I realize immediately that I had forgotten how to load the film into it. I figured it out. I had to get all my old photography books out and re learn about F-stop, apertures, and focusing. I appreciated the participation and hands on involvement. I enjoyed, though strange, bringing the film to the store and waiting for the pictures to be developed. Since there is no way to see how your pictures were going to come out, there was an element of surprise and not knowing. I enjoyed the whole process. The pictures came in an envelope with the negatives. They had that just processed smell. I held the photos in my hand and went through each and each was a gift. The pictures were beautiful!
Revisiting something after a long time away is pregnant with possibilities because we bring to it a new perspective of where we are now. For me I was experiencing a lot of gratitude, empowerment, expression, and an authentic appreciation. I believe that if we evolve without taking within our consciousness the beautiful and simple practices, of who we once were, I think we lose a big part of who we are as individuals and as a collective in the NOW. I constantly revisit places I have been in order to move forward both literally and metaphorically. I often drive past the houses I used to live in Mill Valley and West Marin. I remember people, voices, smells, images, good time, and bad. I can stand there and miss some things while others things are just much better in the past. I become the satellite but remember and pay homage to the camera obscura for with out that manifestation of agency I would not be able to evolve to a higher agency. Conscious participation is what I think it is all about. It seems the more accurate and complex these inventions of my mind and culture became the less participation was needed. We dubbed that as good! But was it? Is it?I say we need to use the Integral lens and with that a new type of participation but just as conscious. It is necessary to know how to look back through the lens of the camera obscura but with a new vision and appreciation.
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